I couldn’t get to sleep for a little while last night.
I was mulling over a conversation I’d had earlier in the evening with a gentleman who’s made a few short but meaningful appearances throughout my story in the last eighteen months. We hadn’t spoken for a bit, and he came over to ask how my health situation is going.
We talked about medicine, prognosis, therapy, diet…all the things that make this year feel much longer than the seven months we’ve currently lived.
At the end of the conversation, I simply said: “It’s been an adventure.”
And it has.
I don’t know where I’ll be a year from now. But I know I’m certainly a lot better than I was a year ago.
It’s a hard question to answer when people ask some variation of, “So you’re doing better?” Man, I don’t know what’s goin’ on in there. My intestines are their own creature at this point.
But is my mind in a good place? Have I accepted what is and what is to come? Am I peaceful, content, and joyful (anyway)?
Last night, I realized that I can finally say (with very rare exception): yes. Maybe not in the way you mean. But yes. I’m doing better.
I realized that I’ve made it to the “But then,” part of my life…and that’s what kept me up last night.